7 smart ways to avoid dating dramas
Entertainment, social media and adverts all fuel our idea that romance should be relatively plain sailing. You search for a harmonious and happy relationship but you end up on a bumpy road with constant dating dramas instead of the joy and connection that you hoped for. Instead of a straightforward and stress-free path, the road you’re on has too many twists and turns. Knowing how to avoid dating dramas is the goal. The alternative can be draining, upsetting and exhausting, so how can you not let yourself get sucked into someone else’s tricky situations and how can you avoid being the person creating drama in your dating life?
It’s important to remember that every relationship takes work, and no relationship is drama-free – life always steps in – but if you find that you come up against drama after drama, you’ll need to evaluate if this is truly the right relationship for you. Here are six ways to avoid dating dramas:
Don’t get into a relationship until you are truly ready to be in one. You don’t want to bring hurt, upset and emotional baggage from previous relationships into a new one as this will create unwanted drama. You need to be healed, whole and ready to give someone your focus and love rather than searching for healing or for validation as a rebound.
Your new relationship can’t ‘fix’ you and you can’t expect that from them. They’re not your counsellor, although in time if it goes well, you should be able to confide in your partner. You need to be able to ‘give’ in a relationship and not ‘take’ all the time. Bringing your previous dramas means taking from your partner more than normal. Relationships are a balance of giving and taking and this sets the balance off kilter, which won’t help you avoid dating dramas. Spend time with God, let Him heal you and prepare you. Let your validation and identity be in Him without the need for a new relationship. Only then are you truly ready to be in a relationship. You want to be happy with who you are in order to be the best version of yourself. This means that past dramas, past flaws and past baggage won’t constantly creep into your new relationship. If you find that you have entered into a relationship too soon, then be prepared to stop and maybe start again at a later date.
Put simply – don’t consciously start arguments. Take a pause, evaluate and work out if something is necessary to sort out immediately and whether your tone of voice will edify the other person? If you or the person you’re dating are consciously being difficult then it’s time to seriously think about whether you can continue if you’re not building each other up. If you are with someone who is argumentative, work out if that is too much for you and try not to rise to it. Pause and take a step back, look at your life and if you need to change the way you react or if there’s underlying issues that need to be addressed.